Enter the world of Pants...

Johnny is a kid from the woods. He doesn't like commotion, and he really fancies his little world in private. But he wouldn't offer up that description if you asked him. He'd probably claim he was a straight shooter, or a real bad dawg. The kind of swashbuckling hero you'd see sailing on one of those seven seas. He walks like a cowboy, and truth be told, he does know his way around a shotgun. Even if they are just made by Mattel.

Dag Jr. is different. He doesn't really qualify as a person. A person has hopes and dreams--they smell flowers and pet kittens. They appreciate an autumn day. Dag was into pastry and scratch tickets. He claims to have invented the Super Bowl, and hasn't paid his taxes in years. But to his credit, the man knew exactly what he liked. All he ever wanted out of life was bad food, fast cash, and the illusion of power. Loathsome, but in an endearing way. And though he may have never helped anyone out, he cared a couple of times. So Johnny doesn't mind him stic